Do Things You Want To Do--ALL BY YOURSELF!

Okay, enough of feeling sorry for yourself every time you see a happy couple strolling in the park. So what? That was you once, and, most likely, will be you again. Even so, it's not you now.

Many Fedora C. singles draw back from enjoying things they like because they're too ashamed to go out alone. I say, that's a bunch of hooey! Why should singleness be a ball-and-chain on your ankle? Relish the freedom to do the things you want to do--all by yourself!

Begin by doing a few simple activities. Visit local museums and galleries. Theatre shows and movies are fun--once the seats fill in and the lights go off, no one will notice you're solo. Also, since people are milling around anyway, park concerts, lawn movies, and parties are an easy fit for singles.

Why not take a trip (why not, you deserve it)? Start with an overnight, car trip to a nearby beach resort or mountain cabin. Treat yourself to dinner at a fine restaurant, plan a day of window shopping, or hunt for treasures at thrift stores. In the meantime, save up for an exciting longer vacation to your dream destination. Whether it's an overnight trip to a nearby location, or a faraway excursion, always, always, ALWAYS buy something to commemorate your visit. (Not that crappy souvenir stuff--I'm thinking a unique piece of jewelry, a designer vase, a funky outfit, or an antique or two.) Note of caution: When traveling alone, be aware of your surroundings, remember to stay on the beaten trails, use good judgment when talking to strangers, and be safe.

The ultimate test, of course, is the couple’s party. Don't decline the invite, go . . . and have fun while you're there. (And be sure to show up looking S-T-U-N-N-I-N-G!!)

The sooner you embrace your singleness by having fun in your own company, the better off you'll be.

Make Your Crib Your Crib

Long term projects are good distracters from the “woe is me” state of mind. Starting a room-by-room remodel is one of the most rewarding things you can do to make your crib your crib. Face it, when you were married, the way the house was laid out was probably a compromise. Now that you’re single, you don’t have to settle. Your crib should reflect your taste.

Don’t jump in without planning and forethought. Begin by watching a few decorating shows on TV. They always have great suggestions for getting the biggest bang for your buck. You might also buy a few mags or solicit the help of friends who have well laid out pads. Once you have determined a theme or style you want to try out, make a few sketches to build your confidence.

Don't go buck wild by buying a bunch of new furniture. Thrift stores and consignment shops are excellent sources for gently used furniture pieces. If you don't see what you want at first, be patient. Those coveted furniture pieces are bound to make an appearance in a second hand store sooner or later. You might want to befriend the owner or sales person and let them know what you're looking for. They can alert you whenever something comes in that might fit your remodeling project. Garage sales or moving sales are resourceful, too, but you've got to be ready to pounce when you see what you like.

You can finance your project by selling or consigning your old furniture (if it's in good shape). Or your very own garage sale can generate lots of extra cash.

I suggest focusing on one room at a time, starting with the master bedroom. The overall project will go on for a few years, but keep plugging away at it until you’ve rejuvenated as many rooms as you like.